I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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