Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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