At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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