More tranny stories later!
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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