Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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