Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize