How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize