you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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