We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
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Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
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I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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