My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
