i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
