that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
