Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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