I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
