I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
