I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i dont even know how to be here
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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