if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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