Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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