She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
