he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
