My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
