Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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