I want to walk on stilts...naked
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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