Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
