I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize