And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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