Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
