just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
