There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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