You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
