i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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