i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
