I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
