Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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