At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize