her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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