Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
