that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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