That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
