so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
