I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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