God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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