Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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