i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
