I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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