i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
