if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
