Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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