Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
