The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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