Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
