Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
