I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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