if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
