I'm eating all of the evidence.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
