There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
