I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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