I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
