I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
