Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
