I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize