Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Randomize
