I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
