You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
