HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
