i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm always down for nudity.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
