He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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